I’ve known you before… in Deep Time
Sydney and Valerie of The Songkeepers. Photography by Annika Cheveldave of our sister choir Malina, and @faithfullphotos
I have never written a song before. Not a full song that is… Until one morning over coffee, when it just came to me. Ten minutes and a voice note on my phone. Melody and all. It didn’t just materialize from nowhere, though. There were ideas, symbolisms, concepts and thoughts stewing in my mind from our choir discussions over the past few weeks.
I had never heard of the concept of deep time, described by Joanna Macy, until Jen introduced it to the choir one day. Deep time connects us to all of those who have come before us and to those who will come after us. It gives name to a sense of time that extends beyond our own lifetime. It is an acknowledgement that this moment has been shaped by all that has happened before in the vastness of deep time. Because of that, there is an awareness that we share these moments in time with all of our ancestors before us. This concept of Deep Time stuck with me.
During the summer session this year, Jen gave us a different prompt to start choir each week. One week, we discussed the symbolism, flowers, and natural elements that connect us to our ancestors. My mind was flooded with images of my Nana’s 20-acre property in Alberta. Big, lush lilac bushes near her front door as we would pull into the gravel driveway. The smell of rhubarb stewing on the stove. Another week, we discussed what lessons we have learned from our ancestors and what teachings we want to pass on as ancestors ourselves. I shared about the long line of fiercely independent women in my family lineage who showed me how to be strong, self-reliant and determined. At the same time, I shared how I was going through an unlearning process of this hyper-independence and how I am relearning how to let others in, ask for help, and remove the protective walls around myself. This is my teaching that I want to pass on as an ancestor myself. We can be strong and independent, but it should not come at the expense of allowing ourselves to be supported and cared for. Jen encouraged us all to write a song inspired by our sharings.
So, I did just that one morning over coffee. The song Deep Time weaves in imagery and symbolism from both my ancestors before me and from my present moment, where I am building my dream on my new homestead. It speaks to the beautifully fierce independent women in my life. It acknowledges the need for a great unlearning of this hyper-independence and a surrendering to the support of others. It acknowledges how everything that has happened throughout the generations before me has led me to this moment and shaped me into who I am, in deep time.
See Sydney perform her original song, Deep Time, at one of our concerts November 22 or 23. Click here for tickets.
Rhubarb and lilac
Under the sun
I’ve gone for weeks, never witness no one
Covered in mud and dirt
I work till I’m done
I’ve known you before, in deep time
In deep time
Tough as an ox
Stubborn as a bull
Never needed nobodies help
I was the same way too
But now I’m done
I’ve known you before, in deep time
In deep time
Looking back on what’s come before
It’s all led me to here
All the pain and loss
But all the joy
I’ve known you before, in deep time
In deep time
Carrying the torch
Scattering the seeds
It’s all within me
How my story goes
I’m writing the scenes
I’ve known you before, in deep time
In deep time
Coffee and sunsets
On the back porch
Never felt so much peace
They’re all part of me
They’re in my bones
I’ve known you before, in deep time
In deep time
~ Sydney Robyn Huculak
